A Very Oncer Musical
by Piper Emerald
Summary: What if there was a musical of Once Upon A Time? Oneshot. (I own nothing.) Published for Scarlet Phlame's Once Upon A Time contest. Heavily infulenced by Starkid and Spamalot.


The audience hears music begin to play softly, as the curtains open. The light's are focussed on the center of the stage, where Emma Swan is sitting at her apartment counter, a cupcake with a lighted candle in her hand. Emma's eye's survey the audience. "It's almost funny, when you really think about it." She sings forlornly, her gaze falling back on the cupcake. "I feel as though my life is falling down some sorta pit. No one see's through this tough act that I put up. When from the beginning of my days I've been out of luck. No one seems care, and all I feels is stuck."

She sets the cupcake down, and walks in front the counter. The music's tempo changes, and the lights widen, showing the rest of the apartment. "Twenty-eighth years of holding back tears, and pretending I don't give a damn. Twenty-eight years of silent fears, all I am is a pathetic sham. If I could change my life, oh I know would. But now I feel as if I'm trapped in this routine for good."

The door bells rings, startling Emma, who walks over to answer it. The moment she opens the door, a ten years old boy blasts past her, and stops when he's reached center stage. He is holding a leather book to his chest. "Are you Emma Swan?" He sings in a youthful voice. "She is, I bet," he adds to himself.

"Excuse me, have we met." Emma's confusion can be seen plainly on her face.  
"Henry's my name. I'm your son." He smiles but Emma still looks bewildered.  
"Is this game?" Henry shakes his head, and Emma chooses to believe him. "Where are you from?"

"Storybrooke Maine." As he sings the last line, the lights fade. All that can be seen is Henry, who is standing in a pool of light. He holds up the book, and the audience see's the that words "Once Upon A Time" are printed on it's cover. "These aren't just stories, boring and plain. This aren't just fairytales, you see; least not to me."

The spot light goes down, and the light snap up a few seconds later. Henry is standing in the middle of a town, seemingly ordinary people go about their day in the background. "Twenty-eight years ago, all the fairytale characters you know were curse by The Evil Queen. Now she's the mayor, she rules the town, and, yes, she's really mean. Only she knows what's true, and the only one who can break her spell is you."

Emma stumbles onstage, looking around her. Henry grabs her arm, pulling her upstage, and pointing out parts of the town. A widow in one of the buildings opens, and a blue bird flutters off Mary Margaret's arm. The audience can tell that it's a puppet on wires, but only the critics mind. She sings a few high notes on "ah" before turing to the audience. "Everyday here is the same, it's like we're on some insane loop. But of course none of us notice."

"No wonder the bird flew the coop!" A random peasant, I mean ensemble member, adds. "It's because of The Evil Queen, were stuck in this obscene place. But the curse made us all dumb, and our memory's 've been replaced!"  
Regina walks to the front of the stage, and all the Evil Regals in the audience scream and clap their hands so loudly, that several Snowing shippers tell them to cut it out. "Yes, I know that in this story I'm the bad guy, but that's because you don't see my point of view. A disney villain is all that's seen by you. Oh, but when you see why, I'm this evil you'll agree, that my character has the most depth on TV."

Regina disappears into the crowd of people, and Graham steps forward, sherif badge pined to his shirt. "I know that soon I'll win most of your pity," he singings. "And it's true I mostly stand here and look pretty, but, I swear, you all will cry, 'cause in a few eps I will die!"

"Spoiler alter," Henry mutters loudly.

Graham backs away into the crowd, and a few ensemble members change the part of the set to a hospital room, and David sits up from the bed that he is lying in. "I'm just your average handsome, cleaver, handsome, slightly foppish, handsome, price charming!" He belts, winking at the audience, and causing several fangirls to squeal. "Right now I'm in a coma, as you see, until episode number three! But my cursed self's stupidity is quite alarming!"

Henry coughs loudly, and David lies back down as the set is shifted to outside of Granny's Diner. Ruby puts down a sign that says "We're Open" and places her hands on her hips. "I'm sure that when most of you look at me, all that you can see it another annoying teen. But don't judge me like you did The Queen. I'm not the person that I may appear to be, what you see on the outside isn't the real me." She looks like she's about to say more, but Henry steps in front of her and begins singing.

"Over there's Mr. Gold, he owns the town." Henry point's to where Gold is standing. "Those who pick fights with him are very bold. He knows about the curse, but we wouldn't be told until the twelfth episode!"

The lights dim until the only light is a blue spot light that outlines Henry. "There's more to the town than meets the eye, hopefully you all understand why." The light fades to black.

* * *

**Ok, this was probably the craziest that I've ever written. ****This is meant to be a parody, I hope it didn't seen like a was hating on certain characters.**

**Please review, I'm dying to know what you guys thought about this. Thanks for reading! ;-)**


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